


Body Languange

by Maxine



Category: One Piece
Genre: M/M, like a decade old, this is old, written before time-skip!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:02:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16524590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxine/pseuds/Maxine
Summary: Usopp tries to translate a typical conversation between Zoro and Sanji for the others. Franky...helps.





	Body Languange

**Author's Note:**

> This is suuuuper old omg. I'm going through my LJ and posting things on AO3 that are vaguely not terrible, so here was one of my dumb contributions to OP fandom lol. It was written on May 27, 2008, so keep in mind that it's from way before the time-skip.

Their relationship was _not_ what one would call normal.  
  
In fact, one might not be able to tell there even _was_ a relationship, unless one was the Great Captain Usopp-sama!!!!! – who had unlimited knowledge of all things in the universe, of course. His genius was vast like the ocean they sailed on, NOTHING escaped his advanced mind!  
  
…It also helped that he’d walked in on them a grand total of eight times now in various places all over the ship. He still cringed sometimes when they ate in the galley, remembering flashes of pale and tan skin entangled on top of the table where the crew’s dinner was supposed to be.  
  
They even seemed to speak their own language, one that Usopp had managed to decipher only after long hours of careful examination of the two subjects.  
  
Oftentimes he had to translate for the rest of the crew, who obviously didn’t have quite his level of intelligence and couldn’t pick out the carefully hidden messages in the pair’s body language.  
  
Oftentimes like today.  
  
Zoro was lifting his ridiculously large only-a-terrifying-person-with-monster-strength-can-carry-these-things freaking huge weights when Sanji slammed out of the galley. He stomped across Sunny’s deck towards the other man and promptly threw a kick at his head before Zoro could even so much as turn fully around.  
  
“Sanji just said ‘hi’ to him,” Usopp translated to an excited Chopper and Luffy, as the three of them peered over the railing on the upper deck to the grassy floor below.  
  
“What the hell, love-cook?!” Zoro said, having barely managed to block the kick with an upraised arm.  
  
“That’s Zoro returning the greeting. With a pet name.”  
  
“Catch you off guard, marimo?” Sanji asked with a sneer, jumping back and shoving his hands into his pockets.  
  
“They really like pet names.”  
  
“Really??” Chopper asked, turning starry eyes to Usopp and sounding impressed.  
  
“Like you could, dartboard brow!”  
  
“Really, _really_ like pet names,” Usopp muttered, before grinning widely down at the reindeer.  
  
“Ehh~~!! You’re so smart, Usopp!”  
  
“What’re they doing now?” Luffy asked, jumping up onto the railing and falling into a crouch. “I’m hungry – let’s get Sanji to make us a snack! OI, SANJI–!”  
  
“ _No!_ ” Usopp hissed, clamping a hand over Luffy’s arm and tugging him back down. “We can’t interrupt their mating ritual!”  
  
“Mating _what_?” Luffy blinked, but Usopp shook his head and didn't answer.  
  
Below, Sanji ignored Zoro’s retort and pulled his hands back out of his pockets, bringing a cigarette to his lips and quickly lighting it.  
  
“Uh-oh, he’s getting serious,” Usopp said, ducking down a little further.  
  
Zoro arched an eyebrow. “You looking for a fight?” he asked, shouldering his stupidly big how-was-it-even-possible-to-hold-them weights and propping his free hand on his hip.  
  
Usopp’s cheeks went pink. “That’s… Wow, he jumped straight to that rather quickly.”  
  
“Jumped straight to what?” Luffy demanded, shoving his face in front of Usopp’s. Usopp pushed him out of the way.  
  
“Yeah, to what??” Chopper echoed, popping up in front of him. Usopp pushed him away, too.  
  
Sanji took a drag of the cigarette and lifted his chin as he exhaled slowly.  
  
Usopp’s jaw dropped.  
  
“Something like that,” Sanji finally replied, a smirk stretching over his lips.  
  
“Oh my god, could he _be_ any more blatant?!” Usopp spluttered.  
  
“I don’t get it,” Luffy said flatly, already looking bored. “And I’m still huuuungry.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you be cooking or something?” Zoro asked.  
  
“He’s wondering if there’s enough time before dinner,” Usopp muttered, blush deepening.  
  
“Time for _what_?” Luffy said. “Are they going to play a game without us??”  
  
“…Sort of.”  
  
“NOT FAIR!!”  
  
Chopper gasped. “They wouldn’t do that!”  
  
“It’s a boring game. You wouldn’t like it, Luffy.” Usopp paused. “…Well. Actually you probably would, but-” And then he made himself shut up, because imagining Luffy doing anything like _that_ was a little too much for his brain to handle.  
  
“I should,” Sanji was saying below them. “So make yourself useful and come peel potatoes.” He absently tapped his ashes onto the deck, before turning on his heel and heading for the galley.  
  
Usopp groaned. “Not the kitchen table _again_.”  
  
“What’s happening on the kitchen table? Is that part of the game?? WHAT’S GOING ON???” Luffy all but whined.  
  
“Er…”  
  
“Zoro just asked Sanji if he wants to fuck like bunnies in the galley before dinner,” Franky said from Usopp’s other side, causing Usopp to nearly jump straight out of his skin. Franky winked, nudging him in the side with his elbow. “Right, man? Ow- _ow_!”  
  
Chopper blinked. “Bunnies?”  
  
“F-FRANKY!” Usopp screeched, falling back on his ass. “H-h-how long have you been there?!”  
  
“Eh, since the beginning.” Franky grinned. “So they’re getting it on again, eh? SUUUUPER!!!”  
  
Luffy laughed loudly, slapping his knee as he did. Usopp gave him a flat look, figuring he probably still had no idea what was going on. “Oi…”  
  
“Why the hell do I have to listen to you?” came Zoro’s voice, catching all of their attention again. He finally put his unnaturally sized these-are-so-heavy-not-even-your-8000-man-army-could-lift-them stupidly massive weights down.  
  
Usopp opened his mouth, but Franky cut him off. “Zoro’s making sure he gets to top,” he said, snickering.  
  
“Top?” Luffy and Chopper repeated simultaneously, tipping their heads to the side.  
  
“ _Oi_ ,” Usopp hissed, face going red again as he smacked Franky on the arm.  
  
“If you _don’t_ listen to me, you’re not eating for a week,” Sanji growled, whipping back around to glare at Zoro. Usopp didn’t know why he bothered saying stuff like that – they all knew Sanji would never actually _not_ feed someone.  
  
Franky whistled. “The cook’s aggressive tonight, isn’t he?” he said, nudging Usopp again. “No sex for a week if he’s not in charge.”  
  
Usopp spluttered and smacked Franky some more. “ _Franky!!_ Shut up!!!”  
  
“Oh.” Luffy blinked. “Sex? That’s all this is about?”  
  
“…Ehehehe…” said Chopper, blushing and pulling his hat down over his eyes.  
  
Zoro glared right back at Sanji, arms crossed over his chest.  
  
Sanji held his ground, practically chewing on his cigarette.  
  
Zoro’s brow furrowed…then he sighed and rolled his eyes.  
  
“Fine,” he said. “Potatoes.”  
  
The tenseness melted out of Sanji’s posture, and he flicked the rest of his cigarette over the rail of the ship. “Good,” he said simply.  
  
“I better get seconds.”  
  
Usopp clamped a hand over Franky’s mouth before he could give translate _that_.  
  
“That could be arranged,” Sanji said. He turned around again, but then paused and glanced back at Zoro over his shoulder. “Coming?”  
  
Usopp cringed, waiting for the obvious answer to that one.  
  
Instead, Zoro just grinned.  
  
After a moment, Sanji returned it.  
  
He faced forward again, but didn’t move until Zoro reached his side. Their hands brushed against each other as they disappeared into the galley. It could’ve been merely accidental, but…  
  
Franky and Usopp exchanged glances.  
  
“…Well. Maybe it’s not _all_ about…sex,” Usopp said in response to Luffy’s question, but Luffy wasn’t paying attention anymore.  
  
“I’M BORED,” he declared. “Let’s play a game! OH! I know! LET’S THROW CHOPPER!!”  
  
“EHHH~~??”  
  
Usopp exhaled noisily.  
  
“You know, I made that table sturdy for a reason, but that’s _definitely_ not the reason I had in mind,” Franky said, flipping his sunglasses down over his eyes. “At least they’re putting it to good use though, right?” He elbowed Usopp again. “Right, man? _Right_?? OW- _OW_!”  
  
Usopp groaned and buried his face in his hands.  
  
Maybe he would just skip dinner tonight.  
  
  
**FIN**


End file.
